Uganda: As we walked across the bridge border from Kenya to Uganda, we had no idea what was to come. Looking back, it ended up being one of our favourite countries and we had some of the best times in that blessed little kingdom. Although we had some attempted pick pockets greet us as we got off the bus in Kampala, it would be our only bad experience in the country. The bus ride into Uganda revealed one of the most lush and green environments we could have ever imagined. We were excited to see what this little country with such a big reputation would offer us. We settled in immediately to the Red Chili Backpackers, which had almost as many vervet monkeys as guests staying there. It also included a 500lb pig and several goats and chickens running amuck in the bar at night. One particular goat had a nasty habit of stealing guests food in the bar, and caused himself and the owner much anxiety as was routinely chased and kicked around the building. The Red Chili Backpackers is a little enclave of activity tucked away in the city, where every night is a raging party with a great mix of locals and foreigners breaking it down. We couldn’t help but spend a few days there, soaking up the atmosphere and frolicking with monkeys at the poolside.

  After we left Kampala we decided to split up and go our separate ways for about 2 weeks. Dan wanted to do a hike in the RwenzoriMountains, and Tom wanted to track Chimpanzees in the Congo Rainforest. Dans hike was a little more than was anticipated, and turned out to be a full on tumultuous expedition. Most of the 10 day hike was in waist deep bogs, until it turned into a sheer blizzard like any he had experienced in Canada. It was a strange feeling to be only 40 kms from the equator while being immersed in a torrential blizzard. Dan crossed through 11 ecological zones, starting in lush tropical jungle, and ending up clamouring across glaciers on a blizzardous mountainside. The final ascent was on Stanley Glacier (the 3rd highest peak in Africa), where all members of the team have ice picks, cramp ons and are harnessed and roped to each other so if one person falls through the ice, the others could pull him to safety. The lead guide, Jehosephat fell through a crevice, but was quick enough to put his arms out and save himself. Another guide, Benard, slid down the whole side of the mountain into a glacier lake, ending up with a swollen and busted hand. At the end of the 10 day trek, there was an immense feeling of joy from Dan, the two guides and 6 porters as they arrived safely in civilization.

  Meanwhile, Tom headed out to a place called the ImpenetrableForest. It is part of the Congo basin of vast steaming jungle in the absolute heart of the African continent. Tom stayed in a tree-house, high up in the rainforest canopy. The tree house was 3 kms from the nearest building and his time there was some of the greatest times of his life. The life that exists in that forest is overwhelming. He happened to be there during a once every 4 year butterfly migration, and at one point every square inch of my body was covered in butterflies as he sat high up on his tree top balcony. You could hear the torrential rainstorms as they came from kilometers away. They come down with such ferocity that you can hardly hear yourself scream over the deafening roar of the raging storm.

  He spent many nights walking through the jungle with his headlamp on.  The most amazing thing Tom did was head out to track Chimpanzees, our brothers from other mothers. After walking with his guide for a little over 2 hours, as they noticed half eaten fruit all around our feet was when the chimps started to scream and hoot from the treetops incredibly loudly. Without them even realizing they had stumbled into the midst of over 150 chimpanzees, and they came down immediately to see who we were. They came crashing through the bush and banged their fists on the tree trunks to display their strength, eventually becoming calmer and coming right up to them, equally fascinated with us, as we were with them. Some of the males weigh in excess of 200lbs and  certainly feel more like being amongst a group of humans rather than animals. The whole time in the jungle was such an amazing experience, as Tom was the only visitor the park had for 2 weeks, and the only person to stay at the treehouse in the last month. Tom felt very sad to leave that place after his 10 days, but was excited to see what would happen next.

  We regrouped on the shores of LakeBunyoni in southern Uganda at Kalebas Cam; a tiny camp  directly on the lakeshore. We had no idea how wild the next 7 days would be. It was good to be back together again, and we were eager to share our experiences with each other.  We could not have hoped for a better place to share stories. LakeBunyoni is a gorgeous lake set in amongst terraced hillsides, and is itself over 2,000 metres deep. The local people come and go on their dugout canoes, and there is a real sense of peace in the area. That peace was only to be broken by the escapades of the two of us, and our now legendary new friends Roland Krol, and……ULF. Things started off slowly as we got to know Roland who is the Dutch owner of this camp. His long time friend and confidant Ulf, a german man. It quickly became an episode of Fear and Loathing in Uganda, as we discovered our new friends were maybe the two craziest people we have ever met in our lives. Without an ounce of exaggeration, Ulf is far and away, the funniest human being either Dan or Tom has ever met in their very short and brutish lives. To give some idea of who Ulf is, he is a 62 year old man, with an 18 year old Ugandan girlfriend, and his escapades include; swinging from the rafters of a local bar, collapsing the entire roof of the building on to its patrons, waking up in the bar the next day at 3PM as his flight was scheduled to be leaving from Kampala, offering to pay the bill by pulling out his gold teeth which of course the bar owner excused him of when he couldn’t bear the sight of Ulf trying to rip out his teeth. Performing cunnilingus on his young girlfriend in the midst of a packed bar of disbelieving onlookers, until the local police threatened to arrest the group of us if we didn’t leave. One morning we decided to bring Ulf a shot of tequila in bed, as he had done for us so many times, and he rubbed the lemons all over his penis as a practical joke on his unsuspecting girlfriend. The days of the camp were spent in extreme tumultulism, as Roland decided to close the gates and declare the camp closed to the public. It was a heady concoction of early morning tequila shots and countless bottles of wine and Nile Gold. Ulf had a penchant for skinny dipping and rolling around naked at inappropriate times. After Ulf failed at ordering a palette of beer by helicopter, we settled for our quickly diminishing supply of elixirs. During our time in that part of Southern Uganda a bad batch of local moonshine was going around. The home-made alcohol was lethal, and was killing more people in the area than they could keep track of. Luckily we didn’t try any of it, as Roland had warned us beforehand. What was most unsettling about this was that these particular people sound a huge drum from on top of the hill whenever someone dies. It became very disturbing when we realized every morning as the drum rang out across the lake that each bang represented another person dead from the night before. It was with a wretched liver and a teary eye that we bid adieu to our larger than life friends and headed out for the border into Rwanda.

  As we had over extended our stay in Uganda, we had no more than 2 days in Rwanda.  This suited us just fine, as thiere was a eerie feeling on the streets that stemmed from the aftermath of the genocide in 1994. Even in our short time there, we realized that Rwanda is far different from the rest of Africa. For whatever reason, the Rwandan’s are very organized and orderly. The streets are all paved, devoid of garbage and traffic lights at every necessary cornet. It is maybe the only place in Africa where the pedestrians have the right of way. With our deadline to meet Toms family friend Sybille on the island of Zanzibar off the coast of Tanzania, we headed off eager to be back on the beach. 

  Our Ethiopian Airlines flight out of Addis, which was nearly empty, was enjoyable, however expensive. In an interesting business plan, the government owned and funded Ethiopian Airlines has decided to fly Addis to Nairobi 6 times a week but clearly the demand is not even close to that, as our flight was maybe 10% full at best. This explains both why such a short flight ended up being so expensive, and why Ethiopian Airlines year after year loses far more money than it brings in. Just one of the many mysterious business practices that we fail to comprehend. Ethiopian Airlines is routinely awarded as Africa’s best performing airline, given the amount of the gross annual budget it eats up, it is indeed a generous and costly burden that the almost entirely bankrupt Ethiopian government chooses to shoulder for the convenience of countless aid workers and regional business men alike. Keeping in mind that 40% of the Ethiopian economy is made up of foreign aid, and that the country is almost entirely devoid of schools, hospitals or any transport infrastructure, the airline is a rather conspicuous priority for the government to continue to uphold. With all of that aside, we were very happy to see how green and lush the plains of Kenya looked as our plane got closer to Nairobi, a stark contrast to the somewhat dry and dusty landscapes of Ethiopia. In retrospect, Ethiopia ended up being by far the poorest and least developed country either of us had ever seen before.

   Dans cousin Riz (aka Rizla), picked us up at the Nairobi airport and we could immediately tell that things were going to be different in Kenya. After not being in a private vehicle for many months, the simple joy of being picked up in a luxurious Land Rover, with air conditioning and self operating windows, as well as being on paved roads was almost too much for the weary travelers to bear. After a short stint through the horrendous Nairobi traffic we pulled into Riz’s first class gated community. We felt like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as we rolled up to Riz’s crib (aka The Riz Carlton), set in palatial gardens with house staff and private chauffeur at our beck and call, topped off with a swimming pool and full workout gym, we took full use of the amenities to get some serious R&R. Riz didn’t waste any time getting us acquainted with the Nairobi night life, and we spent many glorious nights out on the town at our favourite haunt, Gypsys Bar. Gypsys was an interesting mix of upper class Kenyans; including Nairobis large Inidan population, the ever ubiquitous foreign volunteers and local prostitutes.

  Within days Riz’s friends had set us up to go on a tour around Kenyas national parks, including the world renowned Masaai Mara Game Reserve, and LakeNakuruPark. The savannah grasslands of Kenya are absolutely teeming with wildlife, and although the rolling plains seemed like a bit of Saskatchewan back home, the sheer density and variety of the animals reminded us that we were nowhere near Regina. The animals move in the thousands in this area, and we could not believe what we were seeing at any given time. We were immersed into a world with Prides of lions wandering around, cape buffalos and giraffes all over the place, hippos bobbing up and down in the rivers, a lone slinking cheetah and literally hundreds of thousands of grazers moving like giant swarms of bees across the land. We were extremely lucky in Masaai Mara, seeing most of the famous animals of Africa including driving right through the middle of a giant group of 49 elephants. After our first drive through the park, we were pretty shocked to see that we were staying in small pup tents no more than 1 kilometer from a group of lions we had seen only minutes before heading to camp. Luckily we had an armed Masaai warrior keeping watch of us that night as we slept in our own individual tents. We were comforted by the fact that this man had personally killed a full grown lion when he was only 15 years old, armed with nothing but a spear. Fortunately this coming of age ritual is no longer practiced making our warrior friend a rare individual these days. Going to the bathroom at night was a bit hectic, as the sounds of the bush really become amplified then, as well as the fact that our headlamps attracted so many small insects that you can literally not breathe when its turned on in front of your face. At one point during the night we were woken  by the commotion of a group of laughing Hyenas taking down an old Cape Buffalo, which itself is an extremely formidable animal. If nothing else, we were glad they had something to eat besides us.

  From the Masaai Mara we headed up to Lake Nakuru, a somewhat putrid sulphur lake full of giggling gaggling Pink Flamingoes, the beauty of these amazing birds was marked by the distinct smell of their guano as the lake recedes during the dry season revealing a thick layer of it around the shore. This park is also one of the last holdouts of the extremely rare White Rhino. More than any other animal, the Rhino made us feel as if we were truly in Jurassic Park, and we managed to see 3 of them around that lake. At one point we had a very aggressive Baboon rush our truck and try to jump in one of the windows after we challenged him to a staring competition after being specifically told not to look him in the eyes. However the one animal we were unable to see in Kenya was the leopard, but this would change eventually when we got to Zambia later.

  The sheer friendship of Riz and all his buddies that we met made us sad and a little reluctant to leave. But alas we got on board an all too familiar bus for a 14 hour drive across the border into Uganda. Although we didn’t get to see the most typical side of Kenyan life, it was a fascinating glimpse into the other side of Africa, where the privileged few rub shoulders at exclusive locales where a drink may cost more than the daily salary of the average labourer. It is as much a part of Africa as the usual poverty and suffering associated with the continent, and it offered us a much more holistic perspective of what must be one of the most diverse places on earth.

  Our first few days in Addis were spent fruitlessly trying to organize rental cars and trips to southern Ethiopia. We wanted to go visit the people of the Omo Valley, one of the most isolated tribes left on earth, however, the area is almost inaccessible and costs a small fortune to arrange.  However we got a good feeling for the city with Toms friend Seifu helping us get settled in. After much deliberation about the Omo Valley we decided to forego the trip to the south in favour of a trip to lake Tana and the North. To begin we endured a grueling 14 hr minibus ride with 16 people and a baby, in a vehicle comfortable for 6 people. Tom was in great discomfort as he was effectively cooked by the motor which it turned out he was sitting on top of. On the pleasantly scenic drive to Bahir Dar we were fortunate enough to witness the Blue Nile gorge complete with several overturned trucks. A fair number of burnt out tanks from the civil wars of the 80’s were visible on the side of the road, sadly we never got any pictures of. We arrived in the beautiful lake side town of Bahir Dar (meaning “beside the lake” in Amharic). Our hotel was like a Garden of Eden, complete with large fig trees that the hotel had built around and an impressive array of tropical birds. We had great views across Ethiopia’s largest lake which is teeming with hippos, crocodiles and 10-foot wingspan Pelicans. We spent our days walking around the lake, taking boat tours to the source of the Nile, (Lake Tana is one of two lakes in Africa that combine their waters to make the Nile River)  watching hippo’s and gigantic pelicans, exploring some of the numerous monasteries in the lakeside area, as well as meeting all manner of folks from around the world. Our friend Bisrat (the owner of the hotel), introduced us to a semi-addictive, cocaine like stimulant leaf known as quat. It is extremely popular (and legal) in this area and is a cultural experience to behold. We spent several days chewing quat and chatting with our new found rag-tag local friends. The nightlife was spectacular; we must have done our hair properly, as we couldn’t shake off all the women with a stick. It was tempting, tantalizing and torturous. We had over 30 offers of marriage in as many minutes, well, not really, but had we understood Amharic that might have been what they were saying. We spent some quality time making new friends and exploring the local area, including the less than spectacular Blue Nile Falls, at one time the second largest waterfall in Africa, (after Victoria Falls in Zambia) it has now been reduced to two small flows, each only a few metres wide. It used to be almost 600 metres across before a large Hydro-Electric Dam reduced the flow down to what we saw, as well as the lack of rain-fall in Ethiopia over the last few years. All in all the day’s in Bahir Dar were thoroughly enjoyed, however, we eventually found it high time to leave with our new friends Daisy and Joyce.

  The four of us had decided to take the road less traveled and we got spots on a local cargo ship across Laka Tana. As almost no faranji’s (tourists) take this boat, it gave us a great opportunity to see some parts of Ethiopia where the local populace had never seen outsiders. Stopping on islands and small little villages and markets along the way we were bombarded by children all fighting for a position next to us. As the trip was scheduled to be 2 days long, we had to spend a night in a small town called Konzula. After catching a soccer game with a troop of local fanatical children we retired to our “hotel” there. Although its difficult to complain after only paying $2/night, we felt we got ripped off. We also can’t complain that the toilets or showers didn’t work since these had been reduced to nothing more than a tumultuously sour pit dug out near the back of the hotel. However, the bathrooms weren’t too difficult to deal with, after realizing that the walls themselves were constructed from the excrement of local livestock. To punctuate it all off, as Tom swung shut the corrugated tin door to his room he was none too surprised to see both a stash of used condoms and a large contingent of near tarantula sized spiders nesting on the back of his door. Fortunately Dan only woke up with bed bug bites all over his body, whereas Tom was also subjected to spider bites to compliment his bed bug bites, including a clearly defined fang mark on his ear-lobe. The sound of the rats scurrying throughout the walls only added to the hilarity of the situation.  The second day on the boat was no less eventful, but the sunstroke was borderline life threatening. Our day was spent chasing meager bastions of shade in a futile effort to avoid early-onset skin cancer. Another task on the boat was learning how to avoid the constant barrage of 3 and 5 word conversations with the locals. We were all too happy to arrive late that evening in Gorgora.

The only accommodations in Gorgora are the eerily vacant, yet beautiful government hotel where the local staff essentially kicked us out after indulging in the local alcoholic vinegar (wine) with Daisy and Joyce who we got along with famously. The next day we hitched a ride with a local black market tef dealer into the ancient capital city of Gonder.  A slightly more impressive city than most, being dominated by a huge 16th century castle as well as the most famous church in the universe (amongst Ethiopians). The castle was among the more impressive of Ethiopians historical sites and the fact that nobody was there made it that much more intriguing. It was one of the most unique castles either of us had ever seen, with a style all its own as well as old lions cages and accessible dungeons and torture chambers. That night we went out with a bang, saying goodbye to our fellow explorer’s Daisy and Joyce whom we will always have a fond place in our hearts for. We departed Gonder in all too familiar circumstances; horrible local transportation. In a once again over crowded bus ride we endured a spine jarring 4 hour bus ride along roads that could be described as motocross tracks, capped off by a local superstition that open windows blow in diseases and sickness. This particular superstition was among the most frustrating and irrational beliefs to deal with in this kind of situation.

  We arrived in Debark and organized our trip for the Simien Mountains the next day. Debark is the launching point for trekking into the Simien Mountains. It was to be a 5 day, 96km hike up to 4000m above sea level (which is 400m higher then the highest mountain peak in Alberta; Mount Columbia). Our trek included 1 guide, 1 local ak-47 wielding armed security-guard, 1 cook, 2 mules and their mulemen; for the price of $30/day each. Day 1 was a grueling 30km incline up to the first base camp. Starting out from the town of Debark with our 7 man contingent we made our way out through the villages and onto the steep incline up the face of the plateau. The gorges drop off on all sides around, and literally thousands of baboons abound in the area. The baboons are extremely approachable and you can literally walk amongst them. They are the Gelada Baboon and they only live in Ethiopia. The park also includes the very illusive Ethiopian Wolf (also endemic to Ethiopia), Hyena’s and the extremely rare Mountain Leopard (there are thought to be about 10 of them in the whole park). After an unbelievable rainstorm and a night of heavy drinking with a group of 22 Slovenians we bedded down in our dank and moist army-issue canvas tent. The next morning Tom had seen enough after witnessing scores of the baboons and seeing plenty of scenery the previous day, he chalked it up to a success after completing perhaps the most difficult hike in his life, in one of the most amazing places. Tom decided to spend the next 3 days back in Debark where he made quite a name for himself experimenting with multiple local beverages, including honey-wine and a Pennzoil flavored fermented ‘beer’ called Tala. The second day of Dan’s hike took him through amazing scenery including large mountain waterfalls, and groups of baboons 300 at a time. 13km later Dan arrived at the second base camp named Gich. It was a timely arrival as rain and hail continued to fall for the next 8 hours. The 3rd day took Dan to one of the most amazing sights he had ever seen; Imet Gogo. At 4000m above sea level and a direct cliff-like drop off, with all manner of large birds circling around Dan was in awe. The rest of the day was spent hiking back to Gich camp, where almost immediately after arrival the rains and hail started again. That night, Dan was visited by all manner of fleas and ticks, adding to the bed bug bites to give Dan’s skin a slightly small-pox-like look. The fourth day was a hellacious day of trekking. Instead of breaking the hike back to Debark into 2 days, Dan and his team decided to go 42km all the way back to Debark in a single day. Easily the most difficult hike in Dan’s life, upon reaching Debark he promptly collapsed into a shivering pile of cold flesh resembling a pile of dirty laundry.

  After their reunion, Tom and Dan headed all the way back to Bahir Dar by bus the next day. Halfway into the 7 hour bus ride, our vehicle came to a herking-jerking halt. The human and material cargo was strewn out onto the baking highway in the hopes of tagging a ride with some local traffic. After hitching with some locals, we ended up back at our favourite hotel in Bahir Dar to much fanfare. It was great to be “home” where Bizrat took care of us again, and included a free night and meals voucher courtesy of Ethiopian airlines as they had screwed up our $40 flights organized for the next day. We were supposed to leave for the Rock hewn churches of Lalibela but al-hamd’allah we had to stay for another night. We spent a wonderful day with 4 cantankerous British individuals who were attempting to ride their bicycles from Cairo to Cape Town. The four of them had an awkward relationship with each other and were all to eager to break bread and swill gin with the two of us. It slowly turned into a raucous night of boozing after a few hours sipping gin in the gardens and listening to sweet, sweet melodies. Most unmemorable was the 5 am wake up call to catch our flight the next morning to Lalibella.

Despite methanol induced hangovers Lallibella was a quaint and quietly impressive town. Built around twelve ancient rock hewn churches (averaging 900 years old), carved out on all 4 sides from the bedrock in the area. The churches had a truly ancient feeling and more impressively was the monks who still attend to them. In the rocky walls were ancient hermits burrows, carved out to just fit a single monk who would sometimes spend a life-time being fed through a small hole, where he would study the bible endlessly. Still utilized daily as a Christian place of worship, the churches are a sight to behold. We boarded another $40/40min flight back to the place where it all began; the new flower (Addis Ababa). We decided to pamper ourselves with our first meal costing more than $10 at what some claim to be the most luxurious hotel in Africa; the Sheraton Addis. Parked out front was a $600,000 Maybach (one of the most expensive passenger vehicles available to man-kind). Tom started this sentence with a “T” and ended it with a period, as you can see here. And that’s as current as it gets.

  Freshly landed in Ethiopia…. We must admit, after so long in the Middle East, we were feeling a little oppressed by the lack of female interaction and alcohol consumption. There were girls around, but they often seemed unapproachable, and what we had read about the prevalence of honour killings left us a little apprehensive. However, it seems that Ethiopia is making up for such withdrawals tenfold. In fact we’re overwhelmed at the sight of the gorgeous women in Addis Ababa (Ethiopia’s Capital) and the friendly and approachable attitude of all the people we’ve met so far. With our usual great preparation we showed up in Addis Ababa with no money and no visa. With all the bank machines in the airport out of service, we were in a jam. Thanks Allah, Tom’s friend Seifu was there to pick us up from the airport and was able to bail us out with some cash for the VISA. Seifu is one of Tom’s University friends from his exchange in Korea. After a nice afternoon together he got us settled in. The last 8 days in Egypt can only be described as reggae-licious. Lets recount;  

  We ended up catching a flight from Cairo to Aswan,. Aswan is a frontier town on the southern end of the Nile and has a completely different culture and vibe from the rest of the country. The people in this area are not Arab, they are Nubian and the culture reflects it; more laid back and with a distinctly African vibration. The day after arriving we woke up at 2 am and boarded a bus to catch the sunrise at Abu Simbel. Being such an isolated area, only 30kms from the Sudanese border, the area is dominated by the so called “Muslim Brotherhood” so any travel in this area is required to be escorted by military convoy. We arrived for one of 2 days a year when the rays of the sun align to reach the very back of the temple and illuminate the statues of the gods back there. Abu Simbel is a giant temple built on the banks of the Nile. It was essentially built as a piece of propaganda by Ramses II roughly 3000 years ago in order to intimidate the Nubian civilizations to the south. On the face of the temple there are carvings of Egyptians enslaving Nubians in order to let the Nubians know who they were dealing with. Now the temple overlooks Lake Nasser. The lake is a result of a dam on the Nile River. The flooding ended up displacing the original Nubian population driving them north toward Aswan and area. Lake Nasser is the largest man made lake on the planet. Although the Nubians are gone, the lake is now teeming with crocodiles up to 6 metres in length.

  Immediately upon returning to Aswan, after meeting some American girls we arranged to go on a sail boat tour up the Nile. It was a small simple sail boat with an open deck design. No toilets, showers or amenities of any kind. But by no stretch were we roughing it. Our crew provided delicious food, copious amounts of tea, ganja, and the Nile River was there for any bathing or toilet needs, ignoring the fact that 90million other Egyptians were also discharging and defecating in the same waters. We set off with the Americans and our new friends captain Sayed and first mate Hunny. Hunny loved to get down to any tunes playing at the time. He would just break it down. Like all Nubians, our crew couldn’t get enough chronic and seemed to have an endless supply.  We ended up spending 7 blissful days with those Nubians. Just floating down the Nile, watching life go by. Hunny and Sayed cooked us, by far the best meals we had during our entire time in Egypt. That combined with the 35 degree weather and a healthy dose of camel-toes gave us a tropical erection.  Seeing the real Egypt along the banks of the Nile gave us a much more penetrating view of Egyptian culture and was a relief from the hot dusty tourist trail. Along the way we met the friends and families of our Nubian crew and countless other villagers. Not to mention all the amazing ruins the ancient Egyptians built along the banks of the river. Including the huge Kom Ombo temple dedicated to the crocodile god Sobek. We also got to see the cliffs that the ancient Egyptians got the rock from to build many of their monuments, including the pyramids. Since the ancient Egyptians used boats to move these rocks the quarry’s were all right along the Nile and we were able to see the full extent of their excavations. We stopped at a camel market where all manner of beasts of burden are jostled about, inspected, generally beaten and finally auctioned off to the highest bidder. It was quite a sight to see the chaos in the market, as well as the city of Daraw where it was held. At another point we had a 2 hour impromptu stop over where we decided to inspect the local village. Upon entering the village we were eagerly beckoned into a family’s home for tea and awkward conversation. Before long all 4 of his sons and a few other friends joined us to sit on the ground where,  covered in flies, we feasted on bread dipped in slorp (a local delicacy). Upon completion we were carted into the back yard where we were hoisted onto the meat scale to see how much we had eaten.

Our American friends left us after the fourth night as one had been experiencing blood infused fecal discharge. The next day a Sahara desert dust storm blew in from the west, our boat was subsequently moored next to a small village for the night. As luck would have it, this was a monumental day in the Muslim calendar – the prophet Mohammed’s birthday. We were treated to a spectacle of dancing Sufi’s, entranced Sufi’s and spinning, then collapsing Sufi’s (watch the video). The next morning, during the dust storm, we walked into Edfu to visit the extremely well preserved temple of Horus. Probably the most amazing ancient sight either of us experienced. You could almost imagine the ancient Egyptian priests shuffling down the halls in their robes. The torch lit hallways and carved surfaces gave us an overwhelming sense of the mystery of Ancient Egypt. After becoming such good friends with the Capt’n and Hunny they offered us free passage all the way back to Aswan – an offer we couldn’t refuse. Tears were welling up as we said goodbye to Hunny and Capt’n even though Hunny insisted Dan give him his iPod.

 

  We spent the next few days in the grandiose ancient capital of Thebes, now known as Luxor. This is the Mecca, or Jerusalem of the Ancient Egyptians, and it shows. Pounding out the tourist circuit was grueling, uninspiring and generally torturous. This city is an absolute treasure trove of ancient sites and ancient monuments, temples and tombs including Karnak; the largest structure ever built in the name of religion. Karnak had been added to by almost every pharaoh over the thousands of years of Egyptian civilization. However, most memorable for us was visiting the Valley of the Kings on the west side of the river where the sun sets. This is the resting place of over 62 pharaohs. The opportunity to go deep underground and witness the array of booby traps, secret passages and decorations deep in these tombs was mind boggling. We got to see 3 different tombs including the still in tact sarcophagus’ of Tuthmosis III as well as Sethknacht. This was the finale of our time in Egypt. We were pretty bagged and eager to get down to the REAL Africa.  

We are actually in Kenya right now after spending a month in Ethiopia. Unfortunately, the internet was too slow to update our blog. In about 1 week we will have our entire month in Ethiopia uploaded to our blog.

As we sit out here at a busy outdoor Cairo café, writing our blog, smoking our hookah and taking in the sights and sounds of the city (population 20 Million) its hard to realize all that has transpired over the last 10 days. The city heaves with BMW driving business men, shuffling past robed mystics that wouldn’t seem out of place during biblical times. Fully covered burkah wearing women stroll past high-heeled, make up strewn fashionista’s without batting a golden glittered eye-lash. All to the acrid stench of cat-piss, dollar store perfume and butchered animals.

Eyebrows were raised when we stumbled onto an obscene pool of fresh blood spilling over the side walk. Was this the sight of a heinous crime? No! In fact it was a 2000 lb semi-decapitated bovine being heaved into a 1500 lb truck in downtown Cairo by a team of blood spattered Egyptians. How this partially butchered cow got into this predicament still remains unanswered.

  Its been an action packed 10 days since arriving in Egypt. It all began after a fairly uneventful ferry ride from Aqaba, Jordan to the Sinai Peninsula in Egypt.  Our first destination was Dahab; the chill out capital of the planet. When we arrived here, the time seems to have stopped, it felt like it was 4:20 all day and all night. Within minutes of arriving we met a Canadian-Egyptian named Amir who made us feel right at home, introducing us to the staff of one particular restaurant

This is the kind of place you see in movies where you lounge around on pillows, smoke shisha, drink $3 bottles of rum and read books, all taking place right next to the red sea shore. With the temperature averaging 28 degrees, and a cool ocean breeze, this place is an absolute nirvana. It’s quite common for people to extend their trip from a few days to a few years. Plus, it’s a diving mecca. Some of the best diving in the world is here, and Dan did 4 spectacular dives for $120. Tom floated endlessly in the warm waves. We got along great with the staff of our favourite restaurant. We spent some quality time with our new friends and after the restaurant closed, went to their house until 4 am drinking and shooting the shit as only the Egyptians know how. 6 days of swimming, reading, lounging around and generally chilling out at a place where the average meal was $3, and we were ready to depart for Cairo.

Cairo was a serious change of pace from laid back Dahab. We ended up in a sweet room with a 3rd floor balcony overlooking downtown Cairo for $10/night. We went with our Japanese friends Kyohei and Tsunemi to check out the Pyramids of Giza on the first day. As cheesy as it sounds, you cant describe the pyramids with words.  Even after knowing what the pyramids were all about, seeing them and experiencing them in person was mind-blowing at the very least. The realization that the pyramids are made of over 3 million blocks, each one averaging 5000 lbs is a humbling thought. They were the tallest man-made structures until the Eiffel tower was built 4000 years later. The light and sound show with the 1970’s sci-fi soundtrack at night adds to the whole experience and is a definite must for anyone visiting. Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Caesar, Cleopatra and countless others stood in awe at these 5000 year old monuments

An Egyptian offered to take us after hours to see some special places amongst the pyramids, only known to locals. Without thinking too much, this seemed like a great opportunity. We snuck into the site with our new friendwhere we scuttled about the ruins trying to avoid the camel mounted police. We got caught and had to bribe first, a set of  two cops. We then proceeded to be led into an underground tomb where the site security caught us and we then had to pay him off as well. He was a shifty looking bugger who had eyes pointing in two different directions. We wouldn’t have trusted him with our hat. Going deeper underground we finally reached the sarcophagus of an actual pharaoh. It was an amazing sight, and we shamelessly jumped inside and had a look at all the heiroglyphics. Upon leaving the site, our guides got into a scuffle with a different set of police who wouldn’t let us out of the site and were requesting our passports and tickets. A nearby shop owner got us out of our bind when we agreed to visit his perfume shop. The whole fiasco ended up costing us $4, significantly bargained down from the $50 asking price.

The next day, Tom visited the Museum of Egypt while Dan stayed behind. The museum is over 100 years old itself and is bursting at the seams with unbelievable amounts of treasures and artifacts. By far, the most unforgettable thing Tom witnessed was the actual mummies of the pharaohs of ancient Egypt. It was incredible to see the curly white hair of Ramses the Second, crooked finger nails, teeth, eye lashes and all. Staring into the face of a 5000 year old Pharoah is a experience that burns itself into your mind. They were so well preserved, Tom feels like he could recognize them if they were to walk by on the street. Tomorrow morning at 5 am we depart for Aswan in the south.